No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
