Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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