I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
My feet surprised me
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize