it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
