We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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