I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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