She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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