dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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