Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
