last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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