I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Randomize
