didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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