In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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