She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
