Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
