anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
We are all done wearing pants today
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
