it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
