Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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