dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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