The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize
