Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
