just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
