I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
