It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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