He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
