Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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