There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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