I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
