But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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