Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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