Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
