Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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