weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
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He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
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I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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