it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
