There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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