I swear she didn't look like that last week.
please come you make the beer taste better
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize