Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
