i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Can I color on your dick again?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
