can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
