I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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