Are we in a gay sports bar?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
