You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
