I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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