There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
