I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
