what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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