Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
he's single and there are thong briefs.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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