and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
