im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
