I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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