woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
