Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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