So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
