So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants