Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
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My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
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I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.