I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list