two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more