why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
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I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
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The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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