You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
