I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.