For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in