After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
