Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
