I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
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