new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
