whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
people are starting to question the shark bite story
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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