Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
