u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
