can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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