why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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