Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
