You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize