brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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